


The Linguistics of being (a) Dick

by theKasiaLin



Category: Batman (Comics), DCU, DCU (Comics), Teen Titans (Comics)
Genre: Dick is a drama queen, Gen, Jason and dick being brothers, Multi, Polyamorous Character, batfam, crack-fic, polyamorous Dick, sort of, teenage jason
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-06-05
Updated: 2017-06-05
Packaged: 2018-11-09 11:24:40
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 983
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/11103585
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/theKasiaLin/pseuds/theKasiaLin
Summary: Jason has started learning German and he has a revelation for Dick concerning his name.





	The Linguistics of being (a) Dick

**Author's Note:**

> I don't own the characters or the universe, or anything. Doing this just for fun.
> 
> A huuuuuuge thanks to [missMHO](http://archiveofourown.org/users/missMHO) for the beta and the title, and in general for being awesome <3

Dick parked his bike in the garage of the batcave and looked around. After the last argument he didn’t want to run into Bruce but he really needed to use the Batcomputer. He called Alfred beforehands to make sure that the coast was clear, but with B you never really knew.

Fortunately, Bruce was still out. However, the cave was not entirely empty, Jason was training on the mats. It seemed that the kid was so preoccupied that he didn’t even register Dick’s arrival, which made a perfect opportunity for Dick to pull a prank.

He approached Jason slowly, making sure to stay out of his view, and then made a salto landing perfectly in front of Jason who stumbled and fell onto a mat.

“Jesus, Dick!” Jason called out startled but after a moment his expression changed and the kid started giggling like mad. Dick furrowed his brows.

“Umm… I know, my name means penis but I thought you were over that” he said uncertainly. Jason looked up at him. He stifled out the giggles but there was still a grin on his face.

“No, it’s not that,” he said and Dick frowned.

“Then what is it?”

“Well, you know I started to learn German and I just got to the adjectives and well… dick means fat,” the kid started giggling again. Dick sight and shrugged.

“It’s not even that funny,” he said, which made Jason shrug.

“Well, it’s a bit funny… That  _ you _ ’re fat…” the kid giggled one more time but got serious a moment later. “Anyways, what are you doing here?”

“I need to use the computer to run a lead in one of my cases.”

“Mhm…” Jason hummed and scratched his head. “Well, fine... Umm.. Alfred’s made a pie, if you want some I can go and bring you a piece.”

“Sure, that would be awesome. Thanks, Little Wing,” Dick smiled and ruffled Jason’s hair before the kid run out.

\---

Jason’s words, ‘you’re fat’, weighed in on Dick more than he expected.  _ Because what if he really was… _ The thought disturbed him so much that he couldn’t even finish the piece of Alfred’s pie. When he came back to the Tower the first thing he did was go to the full-length mirror that stood in his room. 

He picked up his shirt and looked at his stomach. He was lean, true, but he has heard that some people were “skinny fat”, which meant that they looked as if they were slim while, in fact, they had a high percentage of fat in their bodies. He could have been that… 

Dick turned and looked at himself from the side. He kept his shirt up in his teeth and poked at his side. At the same time there was a rumble at his door and it opened up.

“Dickiebird, why didn’t you tell us that you’re back!” Roy called out as he was stepping into the room. Wally swished in right behind him but both the redheads stopped dead in their tracks as they took Dick in.

“What are you doing?” asked Wally, eyeing him suspiciously.

Dick blushed furiously and let go of his shirt. He pulled it down and tried to smooth out the creases before he looked up. Wally had one of his brows up, clearly awaiting an answer, and Roy was frowning.

“Ummm… so I met Jason while I was in the cave, and he started learning German… And he said that ‘dick’ means fat…”

“So?” asked Wally and Roy’s frown deepened.

“Well.. so I am ‘fat’... and what if I am? Fat, I mean. Or will be. Like, you know… with dogs… like if you give a dog a name that means something, the dog will turn out to be just that… And I think that I’m already turning fat. I mean, look…” Dick picked up his shirt with one hand and squeezed at his side with two fingers of his other hand. “I have lumps!”

His boyfriends blinked rapidly and shared a glance before they started laughing. Roy was laughing so hard that his knees gave in and he was now, literally, rolling on the floor, cackling. Wally was bent with his laughter, howling loud. Dick pouted. He was really concerned but he got  _ that _ as the response…

After a few minutes Wally calmed down and looked up, wiping out the tear in his right eye. He blinked when he took in Dick’s pose and got right to his side in a flash. Wally, slowly put one of his hands on Dick’s right cheek and stroked it softly with his thumb.

“Hey, Dick, you’ve got nothing to worry about. That… that was just your skin. You’re so slim and you’ve got those nice muscles. And if you happen to put on a bit in the future, I won’t mind, and I don’t think Roy will. And if you’ll want we’ll work out with you. So there’s no need to pout or be sad.”

Dick gave in a little under Wally’s gentle touch and he smiled hearing his boyfriend’s reassurance. Wally returned the smile and leaned forward to capture his lips in a gentle kiss. After a moment they heard Roy clear his throat. He was back on his feet now.

“Yeah, I agree with Wallace,” he said as he approached them even closer and embraced them in a hug. The hand on Dick’s back crept up until Roy managed to tangle his fingers in the black hair. He tugged at it and made Dick look directly into his eyes. - You’re perfect Dickiebird, never doubt that,” he said and leaned to kiss Dick.

When the kiss broke, Dick laughed happily, still in the tight embrace of his boyfriends. They were right, he shouldn't have worried about it so much. Even if he got fat, it wouldn’t really matter; he was sure he’d always find the acceptance.


End file.
